Advice

 Advice given from personal experiences.

What is BDSM? (Guide I Use for the Vanilla by HeartHannah

What is BDSM? BDSM is an acronym that stands for Bondage, Discipline, Dominance, submission, sadism, and masochism. I’ll get into what each of those means below. Note that none of these things are inherently sexual, though they can be. Some view BD...

Reference for Sexual/Romantic Orientations and More by HeartHannah

Just so I can point people here for reference, here are some common definitions of different sexualities/romantic orientations. Sexual Orientation – based on the gender(s) that you are sexually attracted to (people who you want to have intercourse...

Taking care of your property, so your property can take care of you by Mr. Blu

Something so simple, is consistently forgotten by those all over the scene. There are many aspects to what such a thing is and many ways to go about doing it. Regular contact isn't just getting together for a beating and communication isn't just the ...

What Does it Look Like When a Top's Consent is Violated? by Ariadne

A weak point in conversations about consent and consent violation is that we often speak as though only bottoms can be violated (I am not immune to this) when tops are also violated on a fairly regular basis. My theory on why we do this is we have a ...

Some Questions for Negotiation by arrogantslut

Dear Play Partners: I want to play with YOU, not just your kinks! I don't really care too much about what toys you like to use or what clothes you like to wear. Sorry -- that's all pretty interchangeable to me. I want to know what beat your perverted...

Vetting Potential Play Partners - My Approach by SunderSpren

A friend recently asked me for an opinion of someone I know in the scene. I thought I would post a part of it here on how I approach providing references and vetting other people in my own play. There is no right way, this is what I've found works we...

How to connect with local kinksters on FetLife – PhoenixFox

As an Official FetLife Greeter from early 2011-late 2012, this is one of the questions I was asked most frequently: how can I find (and be found by) other people in my community with whom I may be compatible. Here's a great way to kick-start your sea...

How to Spot and Stop Manipulators By Preston Ni, M.S.B.A

How to spot a psychological manipulator,.. Psychological manipulation can be defined as the exercise of undue influence through mental distortion and emotional exploitation, with the intention to seize power, control, benefits, and privileges at the ...

Advice from a Newbie from ShyLittleBelle

This may sound weird because I haven't been in the scene long enough to consider myself experienced, but these are a few things that I have learned rather quickly. 1. Don't be afraid to ask questions. If you are at a play party or a dungeon or someth...

Using Your Safeword Is Not a Sign of Failure By lunaKM

When learning about personal safety and BDSM you likely hear the word safeword more than once. A safeword is used as a last resort when you need the play you are engaged in to end. But there’s an unintentional negative stigma surrounding using your...
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